Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Misconception of Control



Practice what you preach. Here on this blog, I've said it all. Continue to strive toward your goals and never give up. Do not get caught up in distractions. In fact, eliminate distractions. And most importantly, follow your own advice.

So here I am doing my first post since January 25th. Today is June 28th. 5 months and 3 days. I became distracted. I became too caught up in my life as a Speech-Language Pathologist. Quite often I get too caught up in the lives of my clients and their families. I ignore my own life, my passions, my goals. I work so hard to ensure that I am providing the best possible care to each one of my clients, I end up cherishing the little free time I have. But what have I been doing with that free time? I have been distracted. I have been distracted with rest, other people, my thoughts, the internet, etc. My goals haven't changed. I still want to inspire people and make a difference wherever and whenever I can.

I have been blessed to continue to work with several of my Life Coaching clients in New York. Wonderful young adults who have all of the tools to succeed, they just need someone like me to help bring it out of them. Although each one is different, I find myself seeing some of the same things, and thus, giving some of the same advice.

Control. All of us want control. If we could, we would all gain the power to control others and our environment and our time. Our true ego never fades and we want things to work out just as we believe they should.

But they rarely ever do, don't they?

We have all heard it before, life has a funny way of throwing you twists and turns, and things have a funny way of working themselves out, even better than you initially imagined. But in the moment, this can become quite the struggle. Things are not going as you think they should. Someone is acting differently than you feel they should. Time is not passing as you feel it should. You haven't achieved your goals yet. You don't like where you are right now. You see people around you with things that you want, a life that you want. You want to have MORE CONTROL.

But we do not have that power. This desire for control that ultimately goes unfulfilled, leads to anger, jealousy, and resentment.

And when we are at our angriest, we are at our stupidest. What can we possibly accomplish now?

We much change this MISCONCEPTION of Control.

The fact that we do not have this amazing power of control is both difficult AND beautiful. Yes, it is beautiful. Why? Because control is tough! More control = more work and responsibilities!

So now, we can focus on what we actually DO have control over. And luckily, it is quite the short list!

I believe there are only THREE things we have control over in life:
 1) How hard we work toward our goals.
 2) How we treat other people
 3) Our emotions and behaviors

Everything else is OUTSIDE of our control. If something is outside of our control, then we should not be worrying about it! We must let our faith, time, and hope take care of that!

That is it. Three simple things. If you focus on and take care of these three things each and everyday, you will relinquish stress, fear, and gain more happiness, confidence, and success.

Focus on the Power of 3. All else, let time take care of.

If you're not Growing, you're Giving Up.
Refuse to Give Up, and #GrowNOW.

-Mike

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