Friday, August 21, 2015

Disclaimer: On the Topic of FEAR

In my last post, I discussed how Fear can be twisted by the mind to be seen as a positive emotion. A emotion that tells us that we are leaving our comfort zone, and about to embark on something that is new, exciting, and potentially life changing. A stimulus sent directly from the mind to the body to inform you that you are experiencing something of great importance. 

As I embark on my new career journey as a Life Coach, motivator, and "confidence enlightener" (yes, I just made that up), I believe it it my responsibility to learn as much about the human mind and the struggles of life as I possibly can. One of my biggest role models has been Brendon Burchard, New York Times bestselling author and creator of the High Performance Academy. His book, blog, and podcasts are incredible and I highly recommend you check them out. Much of his work is free and it is quite obvious he comes from a small American town called "Hard Work." Go to google, type in  his name, and find his great work today!

In his latest work, The Motivation Manifesto" he has this to say about Fear:
"Today we are faced with a multitude of placaters and licensed professionals, many of whom have never actually teansformed lives, who try to fool us into believing that fear is a positive emotion in life. They say, "Fear is natural," or "A little fear will motivate you to try harder, or "Fear builds character." But in most cases, this is wrong. Fear is the thief of humanity's light."

Brendon clearly takes a very strong stand  against viewing Fear as a positive emotion. He has such an interesting, fresh, and wise view on life that I find myself agreeing with just about everything he says when I read his book or listen to his awesome podcast. There is one specific thing he does talk about that I agree with, always be yourself in the face of self-doubt and social oppression. When I first read this portion of his book, I will be honest, I started to doubt my viewpoints from my last blog post. But then I read what I wrote again. And I disagree with Brendon. 

First, I never said Fear would motivate you to try harder or build character. My main viewpoint is that Fear can be viewed as a positive stimulus sent from the mind to the body to inform you that you are about to leave your comfort zone. Leaving your comfort zone is crucial to growth and life success. And it certainly isn't easy. NOTHING in life worth doing is easy. So, of course there is going to be some nervousness, fear and anxiety involved with the few beginning steps of stepping out of the zone. Sure it would be great if you could be super enthusiastic and excited as you stepped out of your comfort zone, but that is really asking a lot. The most likely emotion you will feel is fear. Sweaty palms, shaking, internal tension. But take a step back and look at reality, you are doing something that is going to help you grow and expand your life.

In all psychology writings and books of human development you read, you will read about the intense and amazing power of the human mind. The mind is so powerful, you can literally convince yourself of anything. You can literally convince yourself today that you will be happy and no longer let anything bother you. Many believe that you can even convince yourself that you as getting sick. If you think long and hard and negative enough, you can actually start to develop a fever and sickness. The mind is the most powerful thing we have. Our thoughts drive our behaviors and our behaviors drive our actions. Everything starts with the mind and how we think. What we learn as a child, we often always hold to be true and believe to be the norm. It ALL starts with the mind. 

So here I ask: Why not? Why can't the mind be capable of viewing Fear as a positive emotion? It is certainly capable of it. But maybe to be more specific, it's not quite a positive emotion, as it is a positive stimulus. A stimulus from the mind to the body, telling you that you are about to experience something life changing. Something that can help you GROW. Something you will remember and not simply forget about. Something that is of great importance to you. I just want people to be able to positively recognize the feelings of Fear. If you are about to start writing a blog and your really going to "put yourself out there" and you start to feel Fear, view it as a simple stimulus that you are embarking on something new and great! Same thing if you are trying a new sport, asking your crush on a date, speaking up in a meeting at work, asking for a raise, or doing public speaking. Most likely you will feel Fear before embarking on these activiites. Should that stop you? NO! It should allow you to pause for a moment and have a few seconds of supreme Emotional Intelligence. Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? Why do I feel this? The answer will be symptoms of Fear, and because this is important to me and my life. Having this emotional intelligence could cause you to really take advantage of the situation and totally transform that Fear into confidence.

 Fear is the signal you are leaving your comfort zone. Chances are, once you take that very first step out, your going to instantly feel great. And that is where confidence and GROWTH comes from.



Wednesday, August 19, 2015

GrowNOW Misconception Series: How we Fear Fear.

I have been waiting to write about this topic for a long time...

As we know, our lives are controlled and run by the way that we think.

I believe, many of us are running our lives based on some Major Misconceptions. 

Time to look at things differently.

Most people today would tell you that Fear is a negative emotion and experience. Look at any motivational Instragram account and you will find a picture that tells people "to overcome their fears" and "fight their fears" so that they can get closer to their dreams. Scary movies market fear so that you will want to close you eyes and turn away when you get too scared. "Fear is Prison" we are told. Solitary confinement. As soon as we feel fear, we have to automatically change so that we can be instantly confident once again. We are meant to believe that Fear is something that will keep us away from our dreams. How can we ever accomplish something if we are too Fearful? Fear is marketed to us in a way to make us want to never feel the emotion. The word is tied to so much negativity and uneasiness that people will go out of their way to never feel Fear in the first place.

I am here to tell you that Fear is positive. It is a Major Misconception that Fear is negative.

If you can believe it, Fear does not have to be a negative emotion. Fear is simply your body telling you that you are about to do something important! That is it! That is the new definition to remember and live by. Fear is your body's ways of telling you: "You are about to leave your comfort zone!!" And life truly begins at the end of our comfort zone right? Yes, so fear is a good thing! If you never feel fear, it means you are not GROWING. If you live an easy life and you do the same thing everyday, you will never feel fear. But you are NOT GROWING. You are not achieving your dreams. Without fear, how can achieving goals even be possible?

Fear will get you closer to your dreams. As soon as you feel that fear, those butterflies in your stomach, those twitches in your leg, the uneasiness in your head, the dry mouth, the shaking and sweating of the is you body's way of telling you that you are getting CLOSER to your dreams. You are in THE MOMENT. You are getting closer. You are not being lazy, you are not staying in your comfort zone. Are you going to feel fear when you are watching TV? No. Are you going to feel fear when you are browsing Facebook? No. Are you going to feel fear when your playing Angry Birds? I sure hope not!

Will you feel fear before a huge job interview? YES! Will you feel fear when you are making a huge investment? YES! Will you feel fear when you as someone to marry you? YES! Will you feel fear when you speak up at work? YES!

Are all those things worth doing? YES. Do all those things help you GROW? YES. And they are all driven and accompanied by fear.

We all feel fear. If you say you don't you are a liar. I am sure you have heard it. The pro athlete that says he never gets nervous. The public speaker that says he never feels fear. I do not believe it for a second. We all experience fear. And if you don't you are not Growing. Michael Jordan has felt fear, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Cuban, Richard Branson, Donald Trump, JK Rowling. Everyone has been scared and fearful at some point in their life.

If your body does not get fearful, then what you are experiencing is simply NOT IMPORTANT to you. This is another reason why Fear is a positive. It is your body telling you that something is important to you! You are experiencing something of emotional value. Something that is enriching you. Something that is near and dear to your heart. Something you take pride in. This is a true positive.

Next time you face fear or nervousness, stop and think: What am I doing right now? Is it something important? Is it something that will help me grow? Is this something that can potentially change my life for the better? Chances are the answer is YES.

EMBRACE IT. Because you are on your way to Growing! So get fearful and GrowNOW!

Please comment below by pressing the pencil button!


Saturday, August 15, 2015

Have you done the Work?

Have you ever heard someone say or have you said yourself, "oh I am just so dumb at that!"

Like for instance, "I am so dumb at science" "I am dumb with directions"

Saying things like this is irresponsible

If you are going to use the word "dumb" to describe yourself, take a step back and look at the reality of the situation. 

Are you really "dumb" at that specific task or subject?


You simply have not put in the neccessary work. 

Maybe you are disinterested. But the fact of the matter is that you simply have not done the neccessary work to feel competent in that subject. 

No competence. No confidence

There are few things more true in this world than practice makes perfect. There is a reason this is one of the first things we learn as a child. 

If we practice ANY task for an extended period of time you WILL get good at it! Period. 

If you go to the gym once a month, will you get fit? No. If you got 4 days a week for a month, will get you fit? YES!

With practice you can do ANYTHING!

So, to say you are "dumb" at something simply means you have not put in the practice. 

Maybe you are disinterested. But it seems your are more distracted than anything else. 

I have heard people say "oh I am just not good at school. School isn't for me."


School is not a skill. School is not throwing a football, driving a car, or being able to ride a bike. 

Saying something like this simply means you have NO self-discipline. NO true desire to get good grades. NO time management skills to do your homework, study, and learn the material outside of the classroom. You are LAZY and DISTRACTED. 

"I am not good at school."
Stop it. That is silly. 

So please. Before you say you are "dumb" at something or "not good" at something.

Stop and think?

How much practice have I actually put into this? How many times have I actually TRIED it with my fullest work ethic.

Put in the work. Gain the skills. Gain Wisdom. #GrowNOW


Thursday, August 13, 2015

Smart vs. Dumb: The GrowNOW Misconception Series Part I


Despite all of the new programs put in place to prevent it...bullying, criticism, hate, and insults are at an all-time high.


There is simply more opportunity to do it than ever before.

The haters are everywhere, and thanks to social media and the internet, they are now able to do it "anonymously" and faceless.

Like I stated in my previous post, people today have more of a platform than ever before to voice their thoughts and opinions. Everyday, people post their opinions on the internet for thousands of people to see, while unconsciously creating a digital footprint for themselves.

And what is the easiest thing to post about?

Complaints and Criticisms.

Take a step back and really analyze the people around you when you get a chance. How do strangers, co-workers, classmates, and acquaintances bond and break the "awkward silence?"

Quite often, it is done through complaining, criticizing, or making fun of someone.  Co-workers will bond by making fun of their boss or another co-worker. Classmates will bond by making fun of their teachers.

It is simply one of the easiest things to do. Being negative is EASY. Complaining is easy to do!

Insults are being thrown about at an all-time high.

One common word you will hear is one that really sums itself up with it's meaning....dumb.

If you were to ask some people what "dumb" meant, I believe most of them would say something along the lines of "the opposite of smart."

It is popular and traditional belief that this world consists of two types of people: smart and dumb.

For Part I of the GrowNOW Misconception Series, I would like to say...THIS BELIEF IS DUMB!

I totally disagree with this notion and I think you should too. I think it is an uneducated and ignorant way of thinking that does not lead to positive behavior or caring compassionate relationships, especially in schools and the workplace.

I am here to say that there are NO smart people and there are NO dumb people. I think that is an inefficient way to labeling people.

To change the way we ACT, we must change the way we THINK. So lets look at this MISCONCEPTION differently.

Instead of Smart and Dumb, lets look at FOCUSED and DISTRACTED. about that?

Smart people were not born smart, were they? No they were not. They EARNED IT. They managed their time well. They took learning seriously. They LOVED learning. Instead of spending their time playing video games, watching tv, reading gossip magazines, doing drugs, most likely they took their time in school seriously. It was their DESIRE to learn and get good grades. When they came home from class did they sit on the couch? No they did their homework with caring detail.

These people simply wanted to GROW. They are FOCUSED in life. They enjoy gaining skills and working toward mastery. They know we should grow each day, and attaining wisdom makes that happen.

And it is very important for us all the realize, there are NO dumb people. These people who have been labeled as "dumb" simply have not put in the work that the smart people have. They are DISTRACTED. They do not leave their comfort zone to try and GROW.

Instead of reading or researching, these people watch tv, play video games, and relish in activities that do not grow the brain.

Have you ever heard someone say something like, "Oh I am just dumb at Math, thats just not my subject."

NO. You just don't like it. You're not dumb at it! You just refuse to put in the work to LEARN IT!

Calling people smart or dumb is just that....dumb. I believe using those labels on individuals makes you sound uneducated and immature.

There are people who are FOCUSED and there are people who are DISTRACTED. There are people that are AMBITIOUS and there are people who are LAZY.

It is simply a matter of life choices.

Do you conquer your day? Do you do the necessary work to expand the mind and GrowNOW?

Or do you find yourself on the lonely island knows as The Comfort Zone?

And yes, if you've taken in this information, you may have realized that you have the ability to CHANGE.

If you have been labeled as "dumb" by a group of moronic peers, you have the ability to change your actions so that you can be viewed as "smart."

You simply need to step out of your comfort zone, and DO THE WORK. Focus on school, do the research, and do the work to gain confidence, competence, and mastery.

You have the ability to become FOCUSED, HARD-WORKING, and AMBITIOUS.......TODAY!

Make the right choices and #GrowNOW.


The GrowNOW Misconception Series Intro

Welcome to a brand new project of mine: The #GrowNOW Misconception Series. I think this is something my readers will truly enjoy. I hope it helps to spark a new train of thought and way of thinking. That is my only goal: to make you THINK. Make at least one person say,"Hmmm, I never thought of it that way." 

One thing that I feel is quite evident is that we all live in a new world. We are different people today than we were a decade ago. Why? Because as people, we attain and consume information in ways that were never possible before. We also express ourselves in ways and interpret others in new and diverse ways. 

Yes. We need to look at life today for what it really is. 

We live in "the Information Age." The Internet, smart phones, and social media has changed us. We use all three of those things multiple times on a daily basis, 365 days a year. So when you use anything that much and that often, it is going to have a major impact on your life.

Most people have their smart phones with them by their side 24 hours a day,. Always in their pocket, always on the night stand next to them while they sleep. Pretty amazing when you think about it. Can you think of any other personal item that people need to bring with them everywhere they go? To work, to the bathroom, to the gym, to church, for a walk down the street. 

But it is mostly how we specifically use these phones that has changed us. Because these phones are by our side 24/7, and they have direct access to the Internet, information has become readily available at our fingertips. Never before in human history has this been possible. Any question you have, directions, statistics, lists of people, lists of places, can be known in an instant. 

Social media has also changed us and how we interact with one another. Through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, people now have a platform to let thousands of people know what they are doing and how they feel in an instant. If I wanted to, I could take 5 minutes right now to check facebook and I can tell you what 10 different people are doing with their lives. And in reality, I have not seen or spoken to those people in over 10 years. 

Because of social media, people feel like they have the opportunity to be more opinionated, and they have more avenues to speak their mind. 

This new reality has changed the way we live and interact with others. But most importantly, it has changed the way we THINK.

And if you have read my blog or any other self-help motivation material, you will know that the MIND is everything! 

The way we think drives our actions, beliefs, emotions, and happiness. 

Without a positive mind, it is impossible to achieve true happiness and success. 

This new consumption of information has caused us to believe certain things that I simply believe are NOT true. These are FALSE MISCONCEPTIONS. Things that we believe are true, and we act as if they are definite truths. 

In the GrowNOW Misconception Series, I will be discussing a group of items that I believe we need to start paying attention to, and more importantly, start thinking differently about. 

Viewing these items differently can lead to a brand new way of thinking and approaching to life. 

In Part 1, I will be discussing how there are NO "smart" people and there are NO "dumb" people. 

Sounds a little silly right? That's because you have been trained to think a certain way. 

Well...I believe it is a simple MISCONCEPTION. 

Think differently and GrowNOW.

Stay tuned....

Monday, August 10, 2015

GrowNOW: Real Motivation

The essence of GrowNOW is that ANYONE can be great! 

On this blog I will share my stories of how I learned to reprogram my mind, eliminate distractions, and finally GROW.

I no longer do busy work, I do my Life's work. 

We are all born Unique Individuals. 

It is life's distractions that change us. 

Ask yourself this:
Do you remember who you were, before people told you who you ought to be?

Eliminate distractions. 
Refuse to Give Up.

I KNOW you can do it!


Sunday, August 9, 2015

Your Self-Discipline

Welcome back to! Thank you for taking the time to read this. Means the world to me! 

Please leave some comments at the bottom. 

Don't forget to follow on Instagram: @Grow_NOW_


Like I have always said, everything starts with the mind. There is nothing more powerful on this earth than the human mind. What you think, you feel. What you think, you do. What you think, you become.

Since it is the mind that drives us, our interpretations and definitions of things hold all the weight.

Today, I want to talk about Self-Discipline.

What exactly is it? We know that it is something that all people want to attain. It is something that is desired, and respected.

True leaders have self-discipline. CEO's have self-discipline. Masters of their craft have self-discipline.

So what exactly is it? And how do you attain it?

The definition of Self-Discipline is: your ability to ignore life's distractions and focus on your goals. 

Yes. It is as simple as that.

Go ahead and ask yourself - what are you doing with your time?

How many hours a day do you spend watching tv? Looking at Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, celebrity gossip, sports news, Youtube, video games?

If the answer is "a lot" or "everyday"...your life is full of distractions. You are distracted from your goals. You are living "comfortable." You never leave your comfort zone of your couch, your phone, the internet.

You lack self-discipline. 

You have the goals. You have the dreams. You want to be something better than you are now, something bigger.

But why hasn't it happened to me yet?

Am I too dumb? No
Am I too lazy? No

You are too distracted.

There is no fundamental difference between highly successful people and everyone else. ANYONE can be great. It is simply just a matter of life choices, time management, and positive thinking.

Successful people simply have self-discipline.

They do not waste their time watching tv. They read.
They do not listen to music in their free time. They listen to podcasts and audiobooks.
They do not waste time on social media. They are doing research and perfecting their craft.

They have learned and attained the ability to IGNORE life's distractions. They focus on GROWING each day.

They GrowNOW everyday!

So ask yourself...what do you do with your time?

If you work 8 hours a day, and sleep 8 hours, what are you doing for the other 8 hours? 

If your not GrowingNOW, your Giving Up.

REFUSE To Give Up, and #GrowNOW.



Saturday, August 8, 2015

Your Thoughts, Your Walls

You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

We all have dreams. We all want to
be something better, something bigger. 

It is US that determines our fate. The signs will come. Opportunity will come knocking. You WILL have your chance. 

What will you do?

Will you have self doubt?
Will you be consumed by life's distractions 
Will you be persuaded by the doubts of another person?
Will you say "I am not good enough?"
Will you say "I don't have the resources to accomplish that goal?"

Notice all of those statements begin with "will YOU"

You have the power. You will the opportunity. You have the potential. 

Will you go for it with everything you've got?

Or will you allow doubt and distraction to seep in?

Do not quit. Believe in yourself. Fight for every inch. 

If you think positive and make the right choices, there is no doubt that you will #GrowNOW!


Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Perfect Power of Perspective

In my journey to become a great and inspirational Life Coach, I spend a lot of time listening to, researching, reading, and learning from the greats. By the greats, I mean Brendon Burchard, Mastin Kipp, Tony Robbins, Robin Sharma, etc. I love each and every one of these writers. I listen to them and read their work so much that I feel like I know them. Right now, if you were to ask me if I can meet anyone, it would probably be Brendon Burchard. I just finished reading The Charge and I just received The Motivation Manifesto in the mail. I listen to his podcasts everyday, especially while I am working out at the gym. Check them out, they are called "The Charged Life Podcast."

I feel like I think and interpret life just like these men. One thing that I have always had, for as long as I can remember is perspective. 

Throughout everything I went through in life, the good, the bad, the stressful, the embarrasing, the successes, the mistakes, the accomplishments, the wins, the loses...I made sure to remember what it FELT LIKE.

How the situation made me feel, right at the moment it was happening. Remembering how the situation made me feel has allowed me to remember situations more intensely. However, even more importantly it has helped me to LEARN from them more intensely.

I believe this is the #1 ingredient for a successful life coach. You have to have an in-depth knowledge about how situations make people feel. All of the men I listed above seem to have this trait. Their descriptions of certain situations, life experiences is something to behold.

They all have perspective. They do not view things simply as face value. They know the strength of the mind, and how each situation can make you feel and how it can be interpreted to aid success and happiness.

As a Life Coach for youth, both "typically developing" and also for special needs youth, I am able to use this perspective about my childhood, my life, my experiences to help them. When they talk to me about something that made them feel down, I am able to speak to them about similar situations that I went through.

Have you ever heard for the Freudian theory of "ego"? When we are young, we truly believe the world revolves around us. My belief is that this NEVER really goes away. Especially today, there are more and more people who are self-centered and do not display appropriate "Theory of Mind."

For youth, this is always true. I have worked with several kids who are "wise beyond their years" and also have an "old compassionate soul." However, this ego is always there.

When you are young, you feel like every difficult situation is the end of the world....but little do you know it is just the beginning. 

Sometimes when you work with youth, you simply have to remind them how young they are! Yes, it sounds silly, but sometimes being reminded that you still have so much life to live, so much time to learn, so much more TIME, it can be one of the most comforting things you can hear.

Keeping perspective is key in the field of Life Coaching. However, it is also a very helpful exercise for healthy living.

This is a great exercise for you to try. Next time you go through a situation, take a minute break to make sure you remember how you feel.

If it is a positive experience, close your eyes for 1 minute. Say to yourself, "I want to remember this." It is basically a short form of meditation. Make sure you remember how your head feels, your body feels, your heart feels. When you open your mind, take in the surroundings. Make sure you remember how happy you are, and exactly how you FEEL. Next time you go through a rough patch, thinking of this time can be very comforting. Getting back to that state can be a new goal.

If it is a negative experience. Take a few deep breaths to clear your mind. Close your eyes and talk to yourself a bit. Give yourself a little review, a little synopsis of what is going on. Tell yourself what happened, what may have caused it, who is involved, and exactly how you feel. One thing that could also add to is....take a selfie. Seriously. Take a picture of yourself when you are at a low point. The look on your face, the stress in your eyes, the obvious sadness. This will be something you will be able to look back on. When you are going through a new better time (which WILL happen, after rain always comes sun), you can look back on this picture. You can instantly remind yourself how bad things were at that moment. This can help you enjoy your new positivity even more. A few years later, when you are going through another rough time, you can look at the picture and remind yourself how bad things were, but you got through it and it passed. Time heals all wounds. This new bad time will pass too...

Perspective is key to enjoying the fine things in life, and remembering how you got through the bad times. However, you must make sure you are not living in the past and constantly looking in the rear view mirror.

You know all you've been through, but the best has yet to come. You are still Growing Now. 

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