Thursday, June 11, 2015

Your Family and Friends

We have all heard the phrase, "Good Friends are Hard to Come By."

There are few quotes more true to life.

When we are born, we are given our family. Our God-given family. Of course, unlike friends, it is impossible to choose your family members. Our family is with us from the very beginning. They are instrumental in teaching us how to talk, walk, eat, and how to properly live in this world. Without them we would be truly lost.

However, the great amounts of time we spend with our families is both a blessing and a curse. We tend to be around our parents so much that we become conditioned to their presence and their word. That Mother who just nags you too much. That Father who is just always getting on your case. They are older, they are from a different generation. There is no way they can possibly understand what I am going through. Right? 

Wrong.

There is nobody who understands you more. There is nobody that wants to see you succeed more than them. 

As children and young adults, we spend immense amounts of time focusing on our friendships. We believe that it is our friendships, not our family bonds, that define us. Throughout those strange years of elementary, middle, and high school, we want as many friends as possible. We want to be busy after school and on the weekends, not sitting at home with our families. 

After the party and fun years of college, around the age of 22, "the real world" finally hits. For many of us, it will be the first time that we work full-time and become immersed in the type of life we will have for the next several decades. 

It is during this time when the past truly starts to fade away. Stressful times from high school or college that once seemed like "the end of the world" are now a distant insignificant memory. You will most likely lose contact with the vast majority of your friends from those time periods. If it wasn't for Facebook and social media, that number would surely increase. 

But you may wonder: 
Shouldn't true friendships last?

The answer is YES.

All true friendships should last a lifetime, or pretty damn close to it. 

When two people become good close friends, it is a very special part of your life. 

Friendships are vital to a healthy upbringing to create a well-rounded, respectful, and socially adequate individual.

However there is criteria for a true friendship. There is a MAJOR difference between friends, acquaintances, and two people who are just stuck together. 

All true friendships are 50/50. The two individuals must truly care for one another. This care should be seen most often through inspiration and motivation. 

A true friend should always want his/her friends to SUCCEED! 

A true friend does not like seeing their friend hurt, upset, or wasting away. A true friend will always try to make sure their friend reaches their full potential and  takes full advantage of their strengths. 

This goes for both males and females. Often times it is difficult for men to be compassionate toward their friends. However, in the case of a true friendship, there are no excuses. If you care for someone, and you want them to be your friend for the rest of your life, you will need to show emotion, be compassionate, make personal sacrifices, and go out of your way to make their life more enjoyable. 

But I am here to tell you, especially all you younger people out there....
Good friends are hard to come by.

As you get older, you will inevitably learn that friendships fade away over time. The vast majority do NOT stand true to the test of time. No matter how hard you worked, how much you cared, what you personally did...if that friendship was not 50/50 it will NOT last over time!

 Why?

Because life inevitably catches up with you. Time waits for no one.

Life will eventually catch up with you. Eventually you will need to work 40hrs a week and pay your own bills. Eventually you will need to seriously date someone. Eventually you will get married and start a family of your own. 

You will no longer have time for someone that makes no time for you. No matter how much you personally care about them. 

Ask any individual over the age of 25: As you get older friendships fade away and die. 

And it is true that you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with. Take a look around at your 5 best friends. What kind of person are they? What does their future look like? Because they are the kind of person that you are. Their future looks a lot like yours. 

True friends are hard to come by. But I am here to tell you, all you really need is one. Do not stress yourself out thinking that you need over 10 friends to live a happy life. Why waste time spending your life with people who do not even truly care about you? People that are totally unwilling to bend over backwards for a friend. People that have a horrible "theory of mind" and can not picture or even care to picture what life is like in your shoes.

Spend your life with people who love you and care about you. Friends that make sacrifices and go out their way to make you a happy person. Friends that inspire you, motivate you, to be the best person you can possibly be. 

You will always have your family, who will always love you and care about you no matter what. That is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, blessing of a lifetime.

But we are also given the gift to choose our friends. But good friends are hard to come by...

However they are out there. Good people are out there. Just do not waste your time with people who don't really care about you, don't want to see you succeed, and don't see you in their future. 

It is better to have 1 true friend than 20 regular friends. And you deserve that true friend. That true friend that wants to see you achieve your dreams. That true friend who you want to have in your life forever, who will succeed right there with you. 

Please, don't waste your life with the wrong people. There are so many more beneficial ways to spend your time. You can exercise, learn more about your passion, make money, learn a new hobby, travel the world, play a sport, go back to school, join a club, read a book SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY! 

If you are willing to give your all to a friend to make them feel special and let them know how happy you are to have then in your life...then you 100% deserve a true friend. Until you find one, spend your time bettering yourself doing the things I listed above. You will find your true friend while doing the activities that you love...trust me.

True friends are hard to come by. Don't waste your time with the wrong people. Make yourself a better person each day. While doing that, you will find someone on the same mission as you. Someone with the same ideals and mindset as you. 

That is how a true friendship begins. One that will last a lifetime. 

Do you surround yourself with the right people? Do your friends allow you to Grow NOW?




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